Why do we still feel connected to some work friends from our past and not to others?
I thought about this yesterday when two random events brought this home to me and I realized I was closely linked to two women because sometimes colleagues become confidantes and real friends.
At Starbucks, I ran into Jean, a journalist I used to work with at The Sun in Baltimore. After we hugged, we spent an hour catching up about our kids, our lives, and our current careers – in that order – because at this stage that’s how it usually goes. What I most remember during our time at The Sun many years ago was that as her star rose and mine fell, she remained loyal. It wasn’t the most political choice for her and I was grateful. As we were leaving Starbucks, we noticed another former colleague busy writing on his laptop. We didn’t stop,
Around 10 that evening when I scanned my Facebook feed, I was stunned to see a post from Charlyne, sharing that it was one of the worst days of her life. Her husband Carter had died at home with hospice care. We had started our careers as journalists at The Sun-Sentinel in Fort Lauderdale and then, as things often happened, she had come up to work at The Sun a year or two after I had.
There’s been a lot of conversation lately about the public/private disclosure of the most personal health information and Charlyne had chosen the private way. For years – and we had not seen each other for many years after she moved back to Florida – she has been one of my favorite Facebook friends, always congratulating me on life’s milestones and my family, and sharing great articles about journalism.
I woke up crying this morning thinking about Charlyne and the death of her husband. I woke up thinking about her friendship during my illness when I was 30 and single and trying to keep my illness private. I also remembered how thrilled I was when she met Carter. She deserved all the happiness in the world.
Real friends step outside the workplace. I think of Jean and Charlyne as two women who stood by me when I was vulnerable. They changed my life and made me believe that kindness could be found everywhere, even at work.
twice30 